Cyanide & Happiness Compilation – #4

Cyanide & Happiness Compilation – #4

OH MY GOD! NO NO NO NO, DON’T DO IT! Don’t do what? JUMP?! *WHOOSH* *GASP* *click* *FWOOSH* Relax! I am unharmed! YOU ASSHOLE, YOU COULD HAVE CAUGHT THAT GUY! Oh… Bummer. SHOULDA HAD A JETPACK! (car crash sound) Welcome back to your local Channel 8 News I’m Chip Chapley. Is pregnancy linked to CHILDBIRTH? Our viewer poll results may surprise you But first, lets go to our weatherman extraordinaire, Sam Persam. Sam? Thanks Chip! It’s a going to be a warm one out there today which is great news for anyone on our Birthday List. *Music* I didn’t know it was your birthday Sam…. Uh, Happy Birth- Thanks Chip! A lot of you at the studio seem to space on that one, even though many of you RSVP’D for the party at my place last night. Let’s talk about this another time, eh Sam? Today’s forecast includes about 20 pounds of uneaten macaroni salad. This just in, any party with 20 pounds of macaroni salad is a party this newscaster is glad he missed. Weather Alert! Fuck you Chip. *Grunts* *Punch Noises* Breaking News, a fight has broken out at the Channel 8 News Headquarters between our own Chip Dale and an unknown assailant, I hope he’s okay. Yeah I’m fine. *Punch Noise then a sound of being hurt* Police have been dispatched, but we’re unable to respond due to the blizzard outside…? *Weird Blizzard Noises* Really?! A blizzard Sam?! I’m not a good weatherman… We’re gonna check in real quick with my fist, it appears to be approaching Sam’s face. Huh? *Hurt Noise* (car crash sound) Want Joking Hazard? Buy it now! Links in the description! *Panting Noises* *Cheering and Panting* *Cheering* Grrr! Mr. Tortoise, Mr. Tortoise! How does it feel to be the winner of the big race? *Intense Music* *Deep Voice* I haven’t won yet… *Glaring* *Glaring, Stalking and more intense music* Intense/Sad Music Now I have won. (vomit sound) *Grunting Noises* STREET FIGHTER! BURNIN’ RUBBER 5 HD SPECIAL! ROUND 1 FIGHT! *Punching Noises* HADOOKIN! *More punching noises* *POW* K.O. YOU WIN! *Weird Noises* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?! QUIEEEETTTT! it’s the purple shirted eye stabber and bearwolf WHAT?!?! shhhh… Oh…I thought he was gone forever! No, he’s here in this very building. Keep an eye out. Ok 🙂 my god. Psshh..That was SO predictable. QUIET! I wanna see what happens NEXT. *Sigh* Don’t tell me you enjoy this crap. The purple shirted eye stabber COMEPLETLY sold out. Ohwoo, he stabs people’s eyes *Sigh* What a load of- OH MY GOD! *Scary Music* Well Howdy ya’ll! Looks like you’ve got a blown transformer. Mind if I- GUAAAAHUUUUUAAAA! AAAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHUAAA AAAAUAAAA AAAAAHHHHH AAAAHHHH AAAAAAHHHHH AAAHHH AAAAUUUAAAAA AAAAAAAAUUUAAAAAAH Really? They’re going with the self-reference route. I’m sure that Eye Stabber sucks now. Yeah dude… Well, fuck you guys! Let’s see you do better! And there you have it. Mr. Eye Stabber killed these men in cold blood, Your Honor! Sentence to Death. Electric Chair. *smash* But Your Honor, I’m the purple shirted eye stabber Wait, but that means…. OOOOHHHHH! NOOOOOO! KRGGGHHHAA *thud* And there you have it. Looks like justice is blind… *Loud Cheering* (vomit sound) *Drunk Singing* This party’s CRAZY! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO It’s a shame we- It’s a shame we outta booze. Wait.. Naa Naa Naaa. I better wrap this up and getting people outta here Wait, wait wait wait. I can get more party for the booze. *Jiggles keys* No way… NO WAY I’m not get- Y-Your more drunk than I am! I’m not THAT drunk Don’t poop on the party. Really don’t think you should be doin’ this man. *Hic* Your not my BABYSITTER! I’ll goin’ to the liquor store down the street. Alright, if you insist… *Vehicle Starting* Wait-Wait-Wait-Wait-Wait The…….Can you pick up some ice on the way around? *Winks* Thanks dude! *VROOOOOOMM* AAAAAAAHHHH GOOOOOOOODDDDD AHHHHHHH! Give me your purse ya dumb BITCH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! thanks! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *splash* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH And then she’s all like “I don’t eat pasta and I’m lik- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH *Boop* *Boop* *Boop* OOOOOHHHHHH MMMMMYYYYY, NOOOOOOOOO aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Heh. I’ve made it. OH SHIT! I forgot to get the ice *tire squeal then a loud VROOM then some more screaming and crash sound* Name? Uh….. Nathan Summers. Let’s see……Nathan Summers… OH MY GOD! NO, NO, NO! THERE’S BEEN A MISTAKE! What? You aren’t supposed to be dead yet. I could lose my job over this.. Ok…. This isn’t good, this isn’t good at all. I have to send you back You must wait until it’s your time. Ughhh… Man.. I must’ve hit my head on every step on the way down. Where was I? Suicide huh, heh heh. See you in ghost town. OOOOOOOOOO! OOOOOOOOOOO! OOOOOO…..! *Gasp* Oh darn it, must’ve been to close to the edge.. *crash* *gasp* Heh Heh, jeez whiz, that gave me quite start. I need to fix this old thing. *Light flickers on and off* OOOOOOOOOOO! *destroys everything in house and is being ghosty like* Uh, oo W-What? What the dickens? Steve? Dave! Woah! I haven’t seen you since you died! Yeah! Now you’re dead too! Fantastic! So good to see you, old friend! Likewise! So.. What do ghost do for fun? I don’t know, I always just kinda….haunted you? Lets keep doing that! *Plays with Dave’s dead body* (vomit sound) Good evening sir and madam. Welcome to Le Telepathe. Have you dined with us before? No this our first time. We’ve heard great things Hmmhhmmm. The great things you’ve heard madam are quite correct. So can we see the menu? There are no menu’s I’m afraid. Are there any specials tonight? HA HA HA! Every dish is special sir. You see each meal is tailored to the inner most cravings of each specific diner. Our chef’s monitor is customers brain activity and create a culinary masterpiece based on the individual wishes. That’s fantastic! So how do we order? No need to order sir, your minds have already informed our chef of the dish you desire. This is amazing! I wonder what we’re gonna get! I’m so excited! I hope mine is made of chocolate…or bacon…or caviar Me too…I can’t wait to find out…Happy anniversary sweetheart. Dick: Your chocolate-caviar fountain with bacon crackers, madam… Sonny: This looks AMAZING! And for you sir… Your DICKS. Senna: What The SHIT is that?!?! Your dinner sir.. DICKS…… T-There must be some kind of mistake…I-I-I don’t- Steven.. Why did he bring you DICKS? I-I-I don’t know! T-This is not what I ordered.. Sir… You are telepathically monitored and this is most certainly the dish your brain desired. My brain… didn’t desire THIS. We are a respectable establishment and can assure you that your brain specifically said.. “Ooh I hope I get a big pile of dicks to put in my mouth, that would be so yummy wummy.” Sir.. W-Well I don’t want it. This is a mix up! STEVEN, you’re making a SCENE. We cannot just replace the DICKS you ordered because you changed your mind. Send it back and bring me something else RIGHT NOW. You’re RUINING our anniversary! Have fun with your… plate of DICKS. I’ll get your check sir… Oh my god, that’s so FUCKING GOOD! *Sucks all the DICKS…..* *Lady singing* Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy PIE! YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY PIE! YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY PIE! YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY PIE! YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUMMY PIE! And now the star of the show, the man you’ve all been waiting for…The Master of Disaster, The Sultan of Cannonpultin, The High King in Biking……..ACTION STAN TONI! *VROOM* *buzz* *Sizzling/Vroom sounds* *vrrr poof* *VROOM* *clank* WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO

Daniel Yohans

100 thoughts on “Cyanide & Happiness Compilation – #4

  1. Christiana Odlum says:

    It’s my birthday 🎂

  2. XXfisherXX dOnUt says:


  3. Owl Man says:

    “Let me check in with my fist it appears to be headed right towards Sam’s face”

  4. Hoang Nguyen ngoc says:

    Reaction watch reaction watch reaction watch reaction

  5. GT Reaper says:

    Right when the lights turned off, my alarm went off for my bedtime

  6. The Immortal Sun-kun says:

    14:35 Grandma low-key dummy thicc, tho.

  7. Maddogg619 says:

    Fetus Deleteus

  8. Sub Me For No Reason says:

    The DiCkS you ordered lol

  9. Jaden Ip says:

    Dicks dinner

  10. ali murcakk says:

    Bu adam türkçe öğreniyor

  11. Ragdoll Animation says:

    UwU the purple shirted eye staber

  12. OFS Blizzard says:

    Does anyone just randomly look at the comments for no reason

  13. Ayden Castro says:

    13:44 we cannot replace the diiiick you order

  14. MissxScar says:

    You know a video is good when you don’t go to the comment section until it finishes.

  15. Isabelle Lawrence says:

    when he said"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKS" I died from laughter

  16. Nationalist Romanian Gamer says:

    2:12 WTF you're trans?

  17. Reon C. says:

    5:17 OwO he stabs people eyes

  18. Ben Young says:

    The oldest joke (purple shirted eye Stabber)

  19. Scout says:

    1:08 ._. Look at the bottom…

  20. Jospeh Laird says:

    Who else saw Bugs on a graveston? (Bugs bunny yo)

  21. Elias Rooker says:

    Where did they get the dicks?

  22. fishy boi yo says:

    Holy crap it's 9::05 in real life and 9::02 in the new that's frocking close

  23. mtmlvr says:

    wtf im on

  24. Charged Creeper Gaming says:

    13:00 it’s funny because the guy that ordered the pile of d**ks has my name

  25. XAVER BEANWOOD says:

    Susan furrabruisin

  26. Constant learner says:


  27. LucasAlicia Samways says:

    He j j j just killed that gut

  28. Pintinho gamer says:


  29. Kit'n Has A Friend! says:


  30. GumOxBuilder says:

    2020 and wai nobody talked dis?13:45

  31. trying to get 100k without uploading says:


  32. Fluffypupy says:

    Everytime the waiter/wife says d***

  33. Golden Gamer says:

    Drunk dude joins to be a superhero

  34. Alli Gwtma says:

    Who else watched these videos when they were younger but is now rewatching them and understanding them

  35. Darsed sun says:

    Purple eye stabber is so over rated

    Owwwwwwww Maaa EYEEEEEE

  36. Maknae Lovers says:

    11:43 whoo eats dicks ?

  37. Edgard Tucson says:

    3:35 bruh

  38. Zach attack says:


  39. Stefan Joks says:

    HAHAHAHHAAH this is so funny.🤣You are the beast⚡

  40. sonarbluewolf 12 says:


  41. Superfunny501 Roblox says:


  42. Max McGhee says:

    At the news that map…I’m not there I live in West Virginia

  43. Dragongameing says:

    I got got the reference, Channelate

  44. Zachary Kunkle says:

    The old man just left the broken glass on the ground so he can forget it and step in it.

  45. Thatoneperson says:

    Jet pack dude from the first one sounds like Bill harder from the Californians

  46. Cactus Cloud says:

    Weather Alert!
    #### you Chip!
    chip beats up Sam furiously

  47. Katia Contreras says:

    9:53 this is because subside is a deadly sin

  48. Alexander vlogs says:

    Is it the solar eclipse? 8:33

  49. Wxlf RaptXr says:

    Weather Alert

    Fuck you, Chip

  50. Diorce says:

    D i i i c k s

  51. Diamond Memer 2.0 says:

    $8+’# dicks

  52. Diamond Memer 2.0 says:

    14:12 at 0.25 speed

  53. Hisham Animate says:

    Weather alert!!!!!
    Fuck you jimmmm

  54. Alex Morgz says:

    The &7+’

  55. The Joker says:

    Why dose Sam look like a blond me

  56. Ja noodle Noodle says:

    14:25 I don't like it

  57. You need some milk Gacha show says:


  58. Scott Johnny Helgemo Aune says:

    02:18 wait… was that a dude or girl?

  59. Randomizer 7 says:

    Purple Shirted Eye Stabber Part VII: Blind Justice

  60. Young Hh says:

    When it is sam’s face huh 🤛 sam

  61. SupBro50000 says:

    Your dinner sir, DIIIIIICKSSS

  62. Gamer kid Andrew Ruiz Ruiz says:

    That was me and my friend when our moms to beat up our each other 3:57

  63. Hello How’s your day mate says:

    So dark and so funny ;-;

  64. Ender Raiderz says:

    Boys: Diiiiiiiiiicks Girls: Pussssssssys

  65. Speedy Painter says:

    So basically the pregnant moms fighting is pregnant pokemon go

  66. klingon _YT says:

    Sam persam:new weather report fU chipChip: new news acquired seems a fist is is heading to Sam’s Face

  67. Aurelio Arzate says:

    I dident know prenut women can do that 4:20

  68. eternity says:

    why does the waiter look like hitler

  69. Chicken EEK says:

    2:30 isn’t that a book?

  70. light show says:


  71. K.J. Smith says:

    I love these! I'm so addicted….plate of dddiiicckkks please…..lmfao!! and Pharmacy cracked me up!!!

  72. Seth Craner says:

    Hey nice party Jim!!!

  73. NASCAR mania says:


  74. JackDMilk says:


    Read the news lines in the red box (bottom of screen) LOL

  75. Omega Kaan says:

    Türkçe çevirmen baya iyiymiş mdkclskckdc

  76. asianagainstviolin says:

    The korean sub is awful

  77. Mahmoud alhashki says:


  78. When the china dude sneeze on you says:

    "shoulda had a JETPAAAAAAAaAaAaÆEEEEECK"

  79. Salty Pretzels says:

    Le Telepathé: exists
    Me: 😨

  80. Jina Kademy says:

    14:10 did my man just-..

  81. NathanOfADown says:

    ted bear cool swag

  82. andi.elvin Henríquez says:

    6:56 hahaha

  83. A insane Half German says:

    16:05 If this isn’t a mood I don’t know what it is

  84. ironken 799 says:

    Favorite explosm net comic character purple shirted eyestaber

  85. Colin M. says:


  86. WhiteLeaf says:

    3:13 i saw BUGS

  87. ZORTS says:

    5:21 why does he sound like morticy

  88. Bulldozer of destruction says:

    14:46 God help me

  89. Bulldozer of destruction says:

    Dry ment to right 14:36

  90. Bulldozer of destruction says:

    Ment to say sry

  91. Bulldozer of destruction says:

    Ment to say 14:14

  92. Musa sesay says:

    They are kids watching

  93. Noah Robertson says:

    I,ve watched the channel trailer!!!

  94. Games Cubed says:

    I hate when people are like “no don’t jump” bruh if the dude wants to die he wants to die and you can’t stop him your only making him hesitate for a moment

  95. Hello says:

    0:46 good to see tom tucker moved on from quahog

  96. Kumari Mangalika says:


  97. Ollxbrxan _ says:

    13:44 thank me later

  98. FortRunner says:

    OH $H1T I forgot the Ice 7:44

  99. Fernando Ruiz says:

    Hi from 2020

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