Make Your Relationship Stronger | Happiness Challenge Day 7 | Swami Mukundananda

all relationships are based on the
equation of mutual give-and-take they are hampered by selfishness and
nourished and strengthened through sacrifice and service let us learn the
importance of these today on the seventh day of our happiness challenge one boy
and girl came to me and said Swamiji please give us your blessings we have
decided to take the seven circles around the fire to get married I called the boy
aside and said why do you wish to marry this girl
he said Swamiji she is very beautiful her father is very rich and she loves me
very much I will get great happiness from her I then called the girl aside
and asked her why do you wish to marry this boy she said Swamiji he has a very
promising corporate career he is very dashing and handsome and he takes great
care of me I then got them both together and said look both of you wish to marry
the other for your own happiness not for the happiness of the other and
the moment your happiness is affected or lessened the love will reduce in other
words this marriage is always vulnerable if you wish to strengthen it
learn to be more selfless unfortunately we don’t even realize that when we think
we are doing things for others sake we are still motivated by selfishness
consider this situation a husband and wife were in the bed speaking to each
other together when around 11:00 p.m. at night they began fighting the fight had
happened many times earlier but on this day it became very serious and the
husband said I will take it no more I am NOT going to sleep in this house with
you he got out of bed he walked out of the door and he went to sleep in the car
in the driveway one hour later the wife had a change of heart she suddenly
realized how much she loves her husband so she took her husband’s favorite soda
bottle out from the fridge to go and give it to him but when she reached the
car she found that he was asleep nevertheless she opened the door and
placed the soda bottle there and closed it back thinking that when the husband
wakes up and sees what she has done for him he will also realize how much he
loves her and then they will live happily ever after
now if this had been a fairy tale that would have been a probable ending
but this was not a fairy tale when the husband got up and saw the soda bottle
there his anger had not yet subsided rather than drinking it he poured it
onto the road and then smashed the bottle when the wife came to know what
the husband had done she became infuriated and she came to meet me and
said Swamiji when I behaved so selflessly with my husband why did he do
this to me I said to her what did you expect your husband to do for you and
that is when a bomb shall hit her for the first time she realized that she was
being selfish and even when she was doing something for her husband she had
this expectation of reciprocation when that was not met it caused her
frustration ponder over it in all our relationships we are motivated by this
expectation of return reward and reciprocation so if only we can learn to
drop this as I had said earlier first try to understand and then be understood
make sacrifice and service the goal in your relationship you will then discover
that you have found the art of a much healthier and stronger relationship
this is the homework for you today to see how you can give more in your
relationships and to think of the ways you are getting dissatisfied because of
the desire for taking practice this today and we shall move ahead in the art
of healthier relationships from here tomorrow you

Daniel Yohans

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