President Trump Golfs While Markets Tumble And Health Officials Rush To Produce Coronavirus Tests

President Trump Golfs While Markets Tumble And Health Officials Rush To Produce Coronavirus Tests


WELCOME ONE
AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. FOLKS —
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I LIKE THAT. THANK YOU. I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GUYS ARE
FEELING TONIGHT, BUT I AM STAYING POSITIVE — NOT TESTING
POSITIVE, JUST STAYING POSITIVE —
( LAUGHTER ) STAYING POSITIVE. I BELIEVE THE BOTTLE OF PURELL
IS HALF-FULL. ( LAUGHTER )
‘CAUSE SOMEBODY STOLE HALF MY PURELL. I WILL FIND YOU! ( LAUGHTER )
THE CORONAVIRUS IS STILL ON EVERYONE’S MINDS, SO DON’T
FORGET TO WASH YOUR MINDS. ( LAUGHTER )
I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT’S EDITION OF” GOIN’
VIRAL.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BOOK YOUR CRUISE NOW! THERE ARE NOW OVER 600 CASES IN
THE UNITED STATES. THERE WERE 500 WHEN WE REHEARSED
THIS TWO HOURS AGO. ( LAUGHTER )
OVER THE WEEKEND, THE C.D.C. POSTED SOME GUIDELINES FOR
PEOPLE AT RISK OF SERIOUS ILLNESS FROM THE VIRUS,
INCLUDING AVOID CROWDS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. ( LAUGHTER )
OKAY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OKAY.>>Jon: GOOD ADVICE. GOOD ADVICE.>>Stephen: LET’S HELP
EVERYBODY REMEMBER THAT. CHANT IT WITH ME! AVOID CROWDS! AVOID CROWDS!”
AVOID CROWDS! AVOID CROWDS!”
EXCELLENT. ( LAUGHTER )
HERE IN NEW YORK, WE HAVE OVER 140 CASES. THAT’S THE WHOLE STATE. THE WHOLE STATE HAS 140 CASES. MAYOR DCBLASIO HAD SOME REAL
HELPFUL ADVICE, TELLING CMMUTERS TO AVOID PACKED SUBWAY
CARS. ( LAUGHTER )
QUICK THINKING, MR. MAYOR ( LAUGHTER )
WHY DIDN’T WE THINK OF THAT? LISTEN UP EVERYBODY, YOU DON’T
WANT TO GET ON THE CROWDED SUBWAY CAR, SO REMEMBER TO GET
ON WITH A CRYING BABY AND AN ACCORDION. ( LAUGHTER )
THINGS ARE WORSE OVERSEAS, THE ITALIAN GOVERNMENT JUST
QUARANTINED THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
YEAH. EVEN THE OLIVE GARDEN JUST
CHANGED THEIR SLOGAN TO “WHEN YOU’RE HERE– WHY ARE YOU HERE? YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE US
CORONAVIRUS!” ( LAUGHTER )
THAT IS THE OFFICIAL RESTAURANT OF ITALY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HOSPITALITY, MY FRIEND. WHILE OFFICIALS ARE URGING CALM,
TODAY WALL STREET S&PEED ITS PANTS. ( LAUGHTER )
THE DOW FELL OVER 2,000 POINTS. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
IT’S THE LARGEST SINGLE POINT DROP IN HISTORY. I THINK WE HAVE SOME FOOTAGE OF
THE DOW DROPPING:>>DON’T FORGET TO WASH YOUR
HANDS!>>STEPHEN: HE’S FINE. THE DOW IS FINE. ( APPLAUSE )
THAT POINT DROP IS THE LARGEST IN DOW HISTORY– BY OVER 500
POINTS– BREAKING THE RECORD SET JUST 11 DAYS AGO. YOU KNOW WHAT? TRUMP WAS RIGHT WHEN HE SAID
THIS:>>WE ARE GOING TO WIN SO MUCH
YOU ARE GOING TO GET SO TIRED OF WINNING. SO TIRED. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>STEPHEN: ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED. ( LAUGHTER )
EVERY DAY AT THE NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE, THEY LET GUESTS RING
THE OPENING BELL, SO IT MUST SUCK FOR TODAY’S BELL RINGERS
BANKING INDUSTRY WOMEN, CELEBRATING INTERNATIONAL
WOMENS’ DAY. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
SO, SUDDENLY, THE MARKET WAS EARNING WAY LESS THAN WHEN A MAN
RANG THE BELL, EVEN THOUGH THE WOMEN DID THE SAME JOB? THAT CHECKS OUT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) HUH. HUH. I SAY, HUH. THE DAY WAS SO ROUGH ON WALL
STREET, BUSINESS JOURNALISTS WERE FORCED TO GET REALLY
CREATIVE. VARIOUS OUTLETS DESCRIBED THE
MARKET AS CAREENING, PLUNGING, SINKING, TUMBLING, COLLAPSING,
CRATERING, PLUMMETING AND CRASHING. IN FACT, THE ONLY COMPANY THAT
DID WELL TODAY WAS “INTERNATIONAL THESAURUS AND
SYNONYM, INC.” ( LAUGHTER )
THROUGH THE ROOF! THIS WAY, RIGHT?>>Jon: GOT TO GET YOUR WORDS
TOGETHER.>>Jon: YOU LOOK GOOD.>>Stephen:
THIS IS THE FIRST CRISIS OF TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY THAT HE
DIDN’T CAUSE HIMSELF AND HE IS COMPLETELY SHANKING IT. ( LAUGHTER )
INSTEAD OF MONITORING THE SITUATION, TRUMP SPENT THE
WEEKEND GOLFING. ( BOOING )
>>Jon: COME ON, MAN.>>Stephen: I KNOW. YOU TOOK THE “OOOH RIGHT OUT OF
MY MOUTH. SEEMS INSENSITIVE, BUT REMEMBER
THAT RIGHT AFTER PEARL HARBOR WAS ATTACKED, F.D.R. WAS
PHOTOGRAPHED PLAYING SKEEBALL. ( LAUGHTER )
“DECEMBER 7, 1941: A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN FUN-FOR-ME!”
( LAUGHTER ) THEN, WITH PEOPLE CONCERNED
ABOUT THE GROWING DEATH TOLL OF THE OUTBREAK, TODAY TRUMP
TWEETED, “SO LAST YEAR 37,000 AMERICANS DIED FROM THE COMMON
FLU. IT AVERAGES BETWEEN 27,000 AND
70,000 PER YEAR. NOTHING IS SHUT DOWN, LIFE AND
THE ECONOMY GO ON. AT THIS MOMENT, THERE ARE 546
CONFIRMED CASES OF CORONAVIRUS, WITH 22 DEATHS. THINK ABOUT THAT!”
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT. YOU’RE A MONSTER. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT. HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT. HERE’S THE THING: WE CAN
CRITICIZE TRUMP’S GOLFING AND TWEETING, BUT WHEN HE HUNKERS
DOWN AND FOCUSES ON THE PROBLEM, THAT’S WHEN HE REALLY SUCKS. ( LAUGHTER )
CASE IN POINT, ON FRIDAY, HE HEADED DOWN TO THE C.D.C. TO
REASSURE THE PUBLIC, BUT HE LED OFF WITH SOME LESS-THAN
ENCOURAGING WORDS ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CURRENTLY SICK.>>MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE
GOING TO BE FINE. A VAST MAJORITY ARE GOING TO BE
FINE.>>STEPHEN: IT REMINDS ME OF THE
FAMOUS BOB MARLEY SONG. S DON’T WORRY
ABOUT A THING ABOUT A THING
S ‘CAUSE THE VAST MAJORITY OF THINGS ARE GONNA
S BE ALRIGHT S ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: YEAH, YEAH, GET THAT TONE TOGETHER. I LIKE THAT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH.>>Stephen: TRUMP WENT ON TO
EXPLAIN WHY HE’S THE BEST PERSON TO HANDLE
THIS PANDEMIC.>>YOU KNOW, MY UNCLE WAS A
GREAT PERSON. HE WAS AT M.I.T. HE TAUGHT AT M.I.T. FOR, I
THINK, LIKE A RECORD NUMBER OF YEARS. HE WAS A GREAT SUPER GENIUS. DR. JOHN TRUMP. I LIKE THIS STUFF. I REALLY GET IT. PEOPLE ARE SURPRISED THAT I
UNDERSTAND IT. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>>Stephen: NO, NO! NO, NO, NO, HE’S RIGHT —
I WOULD BE VERY SURPRISED IF YOU UNDERSTOOD IT. ( LAUGHTER )
I DON’T CARE HOW SMART YOUR UNCLE WAS, EPIDEMIOLOGY IS NOT
GENETIC. YOU DON’T GET YOUR MOTHER’S EYES
AND YOUR FATHER’S P.H.D ( LAUGHTER )
KNOWLEDGE DOES NOT GET PASSED DOWN. THAT’S WHY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH
WE ALL KNOW IT NOW, FUTURE GENERATIONS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO
LEARN FOR THEMSELVES THAT YOU’RE AN IDIOT. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Jon: THAT’S A FACT. ( PIANO RIFF )
( APPLAUSE )>>NOTE THAT DURING HIS OFFICIAL
VISIT TO THE C.D.C. DURING A NATIONAL EMERGENCY, TRUMP IS
WEARING A CAMPAIGN HAT. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
MIGHT NOT BE APPROPRIATE DURING A CRISIS, BUT IT DOES REMIND ME
OF LINCOLN SHOWING UP AT THE BATTLE OF ANTIETAM WITH HIS
CAMPAIGN HAT. “SUCK IT SOUTH!”
( LAUGHTER ) YEP, THAT’S WHAT HE RAN ON,
“SUCK IT SOUTH.” YOU DON’T REMEMBER THAT?>>Jon: I DON’T REMEMBER THAT.>>Stephen: UP UNTIL NOW,
THERE HAVE BEEN NOT BEEN ENOUGH CORONAVIRUS TEST KITS
AVAILABLE, BUT TRUMP SAYS THAT PROBLEM IS SOLVED.>>ANYBODY THAT WANTS A TEST CAN
GET A TEST. THAT’S WHAT THE BOTTOM LINE IS. ANYBODY RIGHT NOW AND
YESTERDAY– ANYBODY THAT NEEDS A TEST GETS A TEST. WE– THEY’RE THERE. THEY HAVE THE TESTS.>>STEPHEN: WOW! THAT IS SO REASSURING AND SO NOT
TRUE. 1.1 MILLION TESTS WERE JUST
DISTRIBUTED FOR A COUNTRY OF 328 MILLION. SO, YEAH, NO. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT, ACCORDING TO TRUMP, THESE
TESTS AREN’T JUST EVERYWHERE, THEY’RE ALSO JUST THE BEST.>>THEY HAVE THE TESTS. AND THE TESTS ARE BEAUTIFUL. THE TESTS ARE ALL PERFECT, LIKE
THE LETTER WAS PERFECT. THE TRANSCRIPTION WAS PERFECT,
RIGHT? THIS WAS NOT AS PERFECT AS THAT,
BUT PRETTY GOOD. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>>STEPHEN: SO THE CORONAVIRUS TESTS ARE ALMOST AS PERFECT AS
HIS UKRAINIAN PHONE CALL. (WHISPERING… ). WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE. THAT KNOWLEDGE REALLY GETS A
LAUGH. ( APPLAUSE )
TRUMP’S ALSO TAKING HEAT BECAUSE HE FIRED THE WHITE HOUSE’S
PANDEMIC RESPONSE TEAM IN 2018. BUT HE HAD A REPONSE FOR THAT.>>MR. PRESIDENT, LAST NIGHT,
YOU SAID YOU HAD NOT ANTICIPATED THIS KIND OF THING HAPPENING. WOULD YOU RETHINK THEN HAVING AN
OFFICE OF PANDEMIC PREPARATION IN THE WHITE HOUSE THAT THE
WHITE HOUSE STAFF WOULD LEAD?>>I JUST THINK THIS IS
SOMETHING, PETER, THAT YOU CAN NEVER REALLY THINK IS GOING TO
HAPPEN. ( LAUGHTER )
>>STEPHEN: YOU KNOW WHO THOUGHT A PANDEMIC MIGHT HAPPEN? THE WHITE HOUSE PANDEMIC
RESPONSE TEAM. ( LAUGHTER )
THE SAME WAY — THE SAME WAY YOU KNOW WHO THINKS WAFFLES
MIGHT HAPPEN? THE WAFFLE HOUSE. ( LAUGHTER )
THEY’RE READY ANYTIME WAFFLELES BREAK OUT. ONE OF THE BIGGEST VIRUS STORIES
IS THE GRAND PRINCESS CRUISE SHIP, WHICH HAS BEEN SAILING IN
CIRCLES OFF THE COAST OF SAN FRANCISCO SINCE LAST WEEK WITH
AT LEAST 21 CORONAVIRUS CASES ON BOARD. THINGS HAVE GOTTEN PRETTY GRIM
ABOARD THE SHIP, WITH PASSENGERS REPORTING PEOPLE FIGHTING OVER
ROTTEN FOOD. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
SO, SOME PARTS OF THE CRUISE EXPERIENCE HAVE REMAINED THE
SAME. ( LAUGHTER )
THE SHIP WAS ALLOWED TO DOCK IN OAKLAND TODAY, BUT NOT EVERYONE
IN THE ADMINISTRATION WAS ON BOARD WITH GETTING THEM OFF
BOARD. FOR INSTANCE, THE PRESIDENT.>>I MEAN, FRANKLY, IF IT WERE
UP TO ME, I WOULD BE INCLINED TO SAY, “LEAVE EVERYBODY ON THE
SHIP FOR A PERIOD OF TIME, AND USE THE SHIP AS YOUR BASE.” BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD RATHER
DO IT A DIFFERENT WAY. THEY WOULD RATHER QUARANTINE
PEOPLE WHEN THEY LAND. NOW, WHEN THEY DO THAT, OUR
NUMBERS ARE GOING TO GO UP. OKAY? OUR NUMBERS ARE GOING TO GO UP. I WOULD RATHER– BECAUSE I LIKE
THE NUMBERS BEING WHERE THEY ARE. I DON’T NEED TO HAVE THE
NUMBERS DOUBLE BECAUSE OF ONE SHIP. THAT WASN’T OUR FAULT. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>>STEPHEN: TRUMP IS SAYING THAT HE DOESN’T WANT THE PASSENGERS
OFF THE SHIP, BECAUSE THEIR ILLNESS MIGHT MAKE HIM LOOK BAD. (AS TRUMP)
“LOOK, IF THEY COME ASHORE, THEN WE’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. BUT IF WE SEND THEM TO
INTERNATIONAL WATERS, THEN THEY’RE AQUAMAN’S PROBLEM.” ( LAUGHTER )
“OKAY. AATLANTAS INTERNATIONAL WATERS . ( APPLAUSE )
AS FOR FUTURE CRUISES, INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERTS HAVE
OFFERED THEIR OWN PLAN: STAY THE HELL AWAY.>>SAY NO LARGE CROWDS, NO LONG
TRIPS. AND ABOVE ALL, DON’T GET ON A
CRUISE SHIP.>>STEPHEN: THAT’S A BUMMER FOR
AMERICA’S CRUISE LOVERS. NOW THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET
CHLAMYDIA FROM A MEMBER OF THE BLUE MAN GROUP HERE ON LAND. IT’S JUST NOT THE SAME. ( LAUGHTER )
ALL DRUMMING, ALL THE INCESSANT DRUMMING. ( LAUGHTER )
WITH MORE AND MORE AMERICANS OPTING OUT OF CRUISES TO
SELF-QUARANTINE AT HOME, ONE CRUISE LINE IS INTRODUCING A
NEW, SAFER WAY TO ENJOY THE HIGH SEAS. CHECK OUT THEIR AD. JIM?>>WORRIED ABOUT THE VIRUS BUT
REFUSE NOT TO CRUISE? PRINCESS CRUISE HOME EDITION,
THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY TO WHERE YOU ALREADY ARE. LOVE OUR SHRIMP BUFFET? ENJOY FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR
OWN SINK. IT’S FINE. EAT IT. NO CRUISE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT
CUTE TOWEL ANIMALS. NOW YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN — A
SNAKE OR AN EEL? GREAT JOB! YOU EARNED SOME SHRIMP! AND DON’T MISS THE EXCURSIONS
BICK PANTRY GRATTO, GARAGE DRAGONS AND NOT A CRUISE WITHOUT
SNRKLING!>>OH, WOW! PRINCESS CRUISE HOME EDITION,
THE FUN IS CONTAGIOUS! ( APPLAUSE )
>>STEPHEN: WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. JOHN KRASINSKI IS HERE. BUT WHEN WE RETURN, THE “C” IN
C-PAC STANDS FOR CORONAVIRUS. STICK AROUND! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )

Daniel Yohans

100 thoughts on “President Trump Golfs While Markets Tumble And Health Officials Rush To Produce Coronavirus Tests

  1. Aljoscha Long says:

    I'm not so sure about the genetics. I guess Trump procreates like the Duck Family, by uncleing. So he might have be born with his uncles PhD. Amazing how he can be a singular idiot and a very stable genius with unmatched wisdom at the same time.

  2. Bea FreeAll says:

    dear lordy, we need some 'meanwhile' episodes daily now….please…please..

  3. Carla Pedretti says:

    Please Steve, don’t make fun of Italy, we are living a real dire situation
    Still love you though 😉

  4. Rosita Huff says:

    ….he is an idiot…extremely dumb…plain and simple….and he does not get it !

  5. Hayes Dabney says:

    "You`re a monster."

  6. Joseph Inman says:

    According to the trump faithfull this is all a hoax and fake news to discredit Trump. So, no fake vaccine for them. Sometimes evolution happens quickly.

  7. Black Lion says:

    F off, why don’t we ship you back to Wuhan with Amazon prime shipping

  8. Gary Kindt says:

    Stephen! Your little virus guy needs more "antennae". He needs like a full body fro of it. Grabbing onto a cell as it floats by. We might as well make fun of what is gonna kill a bunch of us, right? Not really much else we can do but wait to see if they figure out that humans are not so smart after all. They should find someone that beat it and find the cellular level mechanism their body used and make a cure. Yeah, I make it sound simple. But it's not… It's Chiffon! 🙂

  9. Nick D says:

    Bernie is the visionary with 20/20 clarity. His platform will save US from Coronavirus & from climate chaos.

  10. Marius M says:

    wtf…PANDEMIC is not funny: we are so extinct. NYC…WILL BE SHUT DOWN IN 2 WEEKS. JUST YOU WATCH.

  11. Woody Wood says:

    People are surprised that Trump understands anything.

  12. SilverSpoon01 says:

    10:46 Look to the right at how HORRIFIED and bewildered that person in the grey suit looks! That's the face of the CDC just realizing they have a moron who looked directly at a solar eclipse , and he's their boss!

  13. crewby3 says:

    Those doctors hanging around him look REALLY embarrassed. I wish they would just have some guts and walk off, leaving him stranded.

  14. Nyotakikora1 says:

    "That you think is never really going to happen"…smh idiot!. It is called prevention for a reason you moron. And people continue to support him. He is more concerned about the "numbers" not their human lives. He and his supporters need to go and stay on that ship if you really just care about numbers, and/or don not think this is a real issue.

  15. jojolouis says:

    By the way guys, that incoherent rambling orange guy with the red cap on……is your president! Good luck

  16. Aljoscha Long says:

    When Trump says "The tests are all perfect, like the letter was perfect…" stop the video and look at the faces. It's hilarious. Esp. the guy in the front right. You can see that he's thinking "OMG, what an idiot!"

  17. rascally rabbit says:

    that was funny. so why am I not laughing

  18. Taylerannsupergirl says:

    The market Trumped

  19. HQB117 HQB says:

    Man, look at the face of these two officials (one is the head of CDC and the other seems to be the secretary of health, two of the already add kissers ) when trump talks about the grand princess, priceless.

  20. geekishgirl says:

    Was there ever better proof of the old saying "There's no fool like an old fool" ? His stupidity and arrogance know no limits

  21. ss says:

    "President Trump spent the weekend (cheating) at golf in Florida" – That is the best place he could be, for the county's sake. I know it's expensive and all the money is going into his pocket, but at least he is out of the way. At a press conference, Trump was the dickhead dressed in his white whale golf clothes and wearing the dopey red cap, standing among the adults of the medical profession. Of course, he made it all about him and didn't like sharing the stage with the adults, constantly looking around, not paying attention, just like a kid and interjecting with his bullshit.

  22. Nathan Powell says:

    I should probably see a doctor.

  23. Alphtheo R. says:

    are we sure mr pres is an actual person? with a brain? and not just a really really really stupid 90s answering machine?

  24. Rash TV says:

    John George Trump (August 21, 1907 – February 21, 1985) was an American electrical engineer, inventor, and physicist. A professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology from 1936 to 1973, … (MIT) in 1933. He was a professor at MIT from 1936 until 1973.

  25. MaserXIV says:

    You don't install smoke alarms hoping a fire breaks out in your house.

  26. Hayes Dabney says:

    When will his ship finally sink? Vote!

  27. Pein-Tech says:

    Hi, French citizen living in Germany here, DId you know fun fact, that in Europe, the tests are done for free, same in S.Korea china japan etc.. Did you know in the US some states only provide the tests cost free? yeah… that means quite a few states who are infected make people pay to check if they are infected or not, ergo people with less money wont test, and will infect even more people including people who made those stupid bills , ironically this virus is deadly for older people, you know… Government aged people ? Just saying karma…

  28. Autumn Kosky says:

    Trump needs to catch the coronavirus. Him and his entire corrupt administration.

  29. Annie S. says:

    And it's now 728 cases!! We'll be close to or over 5,000 by week's end! Oh and goody, it's Friday the 13th this week!

  30. cing earth cingearth says:

    dr trump will fix the virus !

  31. Desiree Holloway says:

    Good god he BUTCHERED that song…RIP Bob Marley 💜💜💜!

  32. Mads Feierskov says:

    Crowd cheering that crowds are being discouraged.

  33. DeeJay ViVo says:

    The only reason ITSI went up is because people need to learn words like “sanitation” and “hygiene.”

  34. Mobian King says:

    where the problem is for AQUAMAN.. thats so so funny LMAO

  35. nbbim2012 says:

    I love how happy Stephen is at 4:30 when the audience collectively gave Agent Orange aka Syphilis brain 45 a massive Boo which he thoroughly deserves!!!!! Why is no one talking about the fact that he wet himself at the CDC? I guess even his diaper can't handle all the piss & shit he produces lol!!!!

  36. No Troll says:

    It's a traditional ploy to try calming the people by pursuing leisure activities in a crisis – like Putin's famous bare chested horse-riding. If Trump actually started working now, this might terrify people.
    That's just the psychological aspect.
    Apart from this there is the deeper truth that when the dumb get busy, things go really bad. Let him play golf or build sand castles – and get youselves a proper president next time, for crying out loud!

  37. Jerry Hutchinson says:

    CAN YOU SAY THAT TRUMP LEARNED A THING OR TWO FROM EMPEROR NERO?

    I KNEW YOU COULD!!

  38. DankNSpank says:

    How the F can he even think about golfing right now…

  39. sugarmilk28 says:

    Four years…..US has suffered. Dem yet again need to save it ….

  40. William Leyva says:

    You go and crack jokes about something that is taking people's lives when my son catches a cold he gets a respiratory infection this virus is taking people's lives that have health issues maybe you should slow it down and respect those who have passed away.

  41. D Mack says:

    Has anyone checked on the big strong, guy who always meets Trump backstage, saying “Mr. President, sir. My wife saw our 401k and thinks I’m a financial genius”. Then he walks away with tears in his eyes. I’ll bet he’s really crying now.

  42. box score watcher says:

    [coronavirus] stock market tanking hard #TrumpCrash [coronavirus]

  43. Karen Shaub says:

    If trump wants to volunteer to be the 547th American death I'm okay
    with it.

  44. Tohru Fhana says:

    He's so comfortable with lying to his people and it is genuinely unsettling. Y'all need to wake up and smell the facism.

  45. Beau Geste says:

    Too bad we can’t rename it “Trumpvirus”. Do we have to hear about his bloody uncle AGAIN?? He is a monster, as are his little monsters.

  46. Russell Graves says:

    Out here in California, when it comes to smoking weed no more puff-puff-pass. Spread the coronavirus that way. So now we got to do puff-puff-roll your own damn joint

  47. Shahla Bozorgzadeh says:

    From The New Yorker: Cruise-Ship Passengers Demand to Be Housed at Mar-a-Lago

  48. Jerry Hutchinson says:

    WILE E. COYOTE……..SUPER GENIUS!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

    WHAT A LOSER!

  49. Arc Light says:

    Yawn.

  50. Beau Geste says:

    Trump has caused even golf to suck.

  51. Shahla Bozorgzadeh says:

    https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/cruise-ship-passengers-demand-to-be-housed-at-mar-a-lago

  52. Umer Mumtaz says:

    Is it me or is that Orange Orangutan is fatter than ever and totally
    out of touch of reality now?

  53. Minho Kim says:

    This is not Trump's fault. It's the Chinese.

  54. Kenneth Nash says:

    Repugnicans: "Did he really just say that?" "He could have been gone?"

  55. 4evrainbow says:

    How much more are we going to tolerate???
    Scary…🤬

  56. Powell Languages says:

    Trump loudly complained about how much Obama played golf and how he would never do that. Seems that now he is president that is about all he does on a regular basis.

  57. Trumpty Dumpty your fall is coming! says:

    That's just the reported cases – and probably why Traitor TRump didn't want testing, so he could hide the real #'s.

  58. ESCAPE FOR ANGELS GODDESS RULE says:

    ❌🍀❌YOUR LACK OF INFECTION===MY RELEASE…NO MORE DISGUISE…NO NEED TO GUESS MY NAME===PLEASE TO MEET YOU🌍THE NAME IS-MICHELLE👽🍺🇺🇸🏆🌟

  59. Jerry Hutchinson says:

    TRONALD (J)IGGLY-PUFF "JUST TOOK A" DUMP IS A GUY WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN THROWN OUT WITH THE BATH WATER AND LAND ON HIS HEAD………WAITAMINUTE……….LISTENING TO HIM TALK, I THINK THAT HAPPENED!!!🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  60. INFERNO SPECTRE says:

    Trumps done more in his first year then the last 2 presidents have put together.

  61. Blue says:

    He even has to tell you (brag) about his uncle being at MIT for a 'record number of years' – why does he have a need to spout bullshit like this all the time?

  62. Dan Cardoza says:

    Yep, worst way to reassure the public. Freakin Trump was never the comforter in chief. He sucks.

  63. Jon Shore says:

    There is something seriously wrong with anyone who would vote for the Trump-Moron.

  64. Twe1ve Bat2 says:

    What do trump's Evangelical supporters say now "Is this guy the antichrist or what?"

  65. Vanessa Coleman says:

    “Let me think about it, your a monster”😂 words more true never spoken

  66. loveUbleach4ever says:

    what a moron, if you quarantine the ship, the chances get higher. Better to quarantine them on the ground in a base or something.

  67. Zissou Moonshot says:

    "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the
    Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my
    Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United
    States."

    Trump has repeatedly broken this oath.

  68. Infinity195859 Stone says:

    Why does Trump look like this emoji (🤗)

  69. piros44 says:

    When Trump is talking about taking people off that cruise ship at 10:35, you can see bronzer rubbed off on the inside of his collar. Ewwww!!!

  70. Rauls life says:

    I feel dumber just listening to what he is saying about the test and how he is handling the outbreak

  71. Giovanni Prinzivalli says:

    Please don't associate my country's food or culture with…. the Olive Garden. Gross.

  72. Google is Stealing my Data says:

    My only question is: Was there actually a Dr. John Trump at MIT? It sounds so much like he made that up on the spot…

  73. Rocs Cee says:

    Trump's the biggest idiot that I've EVER seen…just dumb as hell.

  74. MEND New Zealand says:

    can't someone in Congress send the Marshall to cuff and gag Trump and lock him up as US No1 Idiot?

  75. Thomas Schneider says:

    How is none of those CDC assholes saying anything? Or is it edited out?

  76. Wutzmyname Mike says:

    Love the show but that one woman who is always there……cough(employee)cough……laughing the loudest and cheering the loudest and screaming the loudest…….is really like nails on a chalkboard.

  77. Noopsie Chapin says:

    We are literally living in a real-life disaster movie. We made it thru 3/4 of the movie (Trump’s presidency) to only die in the last 15 minutes by a freak virus.

  78. Ruoyu Li says:

    what if trump has the coronavirus, can we quarantine him?

  79. Fur Ball says:

    Trump! The letter? The transcript? What in Gods name has that got to do with Covid-19?
    Trump = moronic imbecile.

  80. Vintage Moss says:

    #TrumpSlump

  81. Murray Flewelling says:

    lOl,,,,Trump " nobody knows more about how to comeback from a crash than me, step one , spectacular crash like no one has ever seen before….check !

  82. bonniewep says:

    At last we may finally be rid of Trump and it took a deadly bug to do it.

  83. Zyn says:

    I can't wait to see this guy's reaction to Trump's reelection. His brain will literally explode!

  84. Carla a says:

    Anyone who dies from this due to trump cutting the budget, Anyone who voted for trump and still supports him?, this is on you

  85. Barbara Kennedy says:

    Those two guys on either side of him are absolutely amazed at his stupidity and ignorance.
    All I could see was the freaking jazz hands. Nothing but jazz hands. Perfect fucking jazz hands.
    Somebody get him the hell out of Our White House!! He's a moron.
    🙄 🤘🗽😉

  86. dsmyify says:

    The sheer lack of empathy for the people trapped on the cruise ship.

  87. steelerdave2000 says:

    Don’t forget, liberals, it’s actually China’s fault. That’s the point of origin. Direct your stupidity, errrrrrr, anger at Xi Jinping. Got it now?

  88. SmiieRaiNBow says:

    how ironic that they’re shouting avoid crowd while sitting in a crowd lol

  89. Steven Gordon says:

    You know those people who defend President by saying “oh but the economy is real great!” – they’re just boneheads with cognitive bias. It’s not great; it’s VOLATILE. How many times in the last 2-3 years have you heard the news saying “today the stock market saw record losses” and then promptly filed that away in a non-memory corner of your head?

    On top of that, quality-of life indexes for workers have been plummeting. Yeah maybe a few less people are unemployed if you squint, but things like health care, housing, education, transportation, etc. are getting more expensive and less attainable.

    “Oh but economy, it so great!” Eat a marshmallow bag full of dicks, ya fuckin bozo.

  90. Clark says:

    And the American election system got this genius elected. Is Trump the problem, or the system?

  91. ashish shavarna says:

    while people in crowd shouting “Avoid crowd” 🤔

  92. drew pedersen says:

    "Suck it South" is a slogan that will always get my vote!
    What're they gonna do, "rise again"?
    ROTFLMAO

  93. jeff mcgowan says:

    trump is the man..dems are mad about that.. tehehe..

  94. Larry Mosher says:

    Comedians stop the coronavirus jokes, people are dying every day.Try to write a real joke.

  95. BdR76 says:

    2:36 wow from what movie is that scene?

  96. Lawrence D’Oliveiro says:

    12:30 Does anybody really have that many containers in their home?!?

  97. Cindy Elliott says:

    Donald Trump is a Menace to Society!

  98. Carriemchardy Carrie says:

    Trumps cult are not worried, let them follow their leader.

  99. Alegria Atencio says:

    Those people with tRumputin are DUMBER than him for supporting his LIES!!!!!

  100. Pete 952 says:

    Get ready. When test kits are actually used, the explosion is coming. Drumpf has been lying for months. When one commuter to New York infected 30 known people, this will get bad.

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